rpmemesfam:

bobs burgers sentence starters.

“ no one sheds like this family, it’s like a bunch of chewbaccas. ”
“ i hope they’re using protection because i am not taking care of that baby. ”
“ this is what it sounds like when they have sex in the room next to mine. ”
“ do you think cows should be ground up for food? ”
“ frowny face? all I’ve been is super nice to you and this is the thanks i get? ”
“ i loved you, i loved you like a horse, which is my favorite animal. ”
“ so you’re not going to get revenge today? ”
“ then i won’t bring your credit card… which i cut into a ninja star! ”
“ word of advice: don’t tell them what you’re in for. ”
“ when you say that, i feel like you’re trying to hurt my feelings. ”
“ great. why don’t you learn something and become a lawyer. ”
“ i will punch you. again, and again, and again, and again, and again— ”
“ let’s release the lobster from whence it came! the supermarket! ”
“ i just can’t stop banging things down here, the acoustics are great. ”
“ wait, so, you you didn’t just throw a candy bar in the pool? ”
“ i did a booze cruise through your living room! ”
“ you’re supposed to love each other, not kill each other! ”
“ if you think about it any box could have vibrators in it. ”
“ we’re adrenaline junkies. we like our rides pure and uncut. ”
“ on the plus side, there doesn’t seem to be any damage to the other car. ”
“ for all we know, that was probably already there, right? ”
“ because stress is making my hair fall out! look at me! ”
“ puberty, puberty, puberty. that’s all i hear when you guys talk! ”
“ fine! i don’t wanna play your dumb little game anyway. ”
“ i’m gonna learn about sex from television, so i don’t need that from you either! ”
“ look through the tube, see some boob! show some green, see some peen! ”
“ we’ll have to cut down on expenses. what can we live without? ”
“  i made it rain shrimp! what did youever do? ”
“ your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it. ”
“ i just wanna slap his / her hideous, beautiful face! ”
“ i’m no hero. i put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else. ”
“  i was going to punch you, but i’m holding wine. ”
“ so i’m guessing you guys are not the top frat on campus. ”

Jan 28 12:02 ( 372 )
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HW